Hold Hands, Not Grudges

If you're mad at someone, just let them know.

The idea of transparency can save time, frustration and even relationships. Why drag on a conflict if it is only waring you down? There's not point in suffering one more moment if a simple discussion can fix the issue.

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Holding grudges is fun. You have control, or at least you think you do. You feel entitled and empowered because someone has wronged you, but feeling in charge will get you no where.

If the world was perfect, as soon as conflict would arise, the two or more parties would fix it immediately and go on living. Both would be wiser from the encounter and would know what actions to avoid for next time. However, we don't live in a perfect world.

We lived in a fundamentally flawed one.

What is the point in keeping silent and allowing anger to rise up inside of you? Does one think that the feeling of empowerment will last forever? Because it won't.

In all my experiences of being upset with someone, if I held on for too long, one of two things would happen: I would forget what I was fighting about and just have a negative feeling toward someone forever or I would realize that what I was angry about for so long was completely useless and I would feel ashamed.

I have felt that shame a lot. When I was younger, I was incredibly dramatic. Still am, but only when it won't really hurt anyone or any friendships. But as I've grown older, the idea of holding a grudge reflects a lack of maturity and appreciation of human kind.

We're all people. We all make mistakes, whether we know it or not. If your problem with someone is situational and not a chronic issue, address it with the person. Perhaps they didn't even know they messed up. They will continue living without a care and you will let the pressure burden you and the empowerment to enslave you.

If you heed my advice and choose to resolve the issue immediately, do so in a rational fashion. No one likes to feel attacked. That empowerment you felt is invisible and won't protect you from losing an argument, looking like a fool, or even worse, getting your jaw busted. Don't go Dr. Phil on someone, but just treat the matter in a way that you would want it to be treated if you were on the receiving end. The Golden Rule.

Keeping grudges will keep you alone in your head. Learn to forgive, not forget and live a stronger life. http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/lauren-xenos.html

If you come up to someone with a chip on your shoulder and an attitude of apologetic entitlement, you're going to look like dolt. Being patient, understanding and empathetic will get you far.

The next time someone angers you, don't go to Twitter. Don't go to other people. Address it calmly and immediately. Fix it and go one with life. Too many people fight for no logical reason.

Remaining hung up on trivial matters makes one look like a simpleton. You're better than that.

Let it go and live.