The Pragmatic's Guide to Laziness

My mind thrives on what I get done in 24 hours.

Functionality and completing tasks is what gives me self-worth, whether that involves working out, writing music, school work, reading or even just cleaning the house.

I like to get stuff done. I enjoy schedules and sticking to them. Deviating from them doesn't hurt me, but it does make me a tad bit uncomfortable and the completion of my goals seems to go unrewarded.

An actual photo of me today, courtesy of Charlie Banks.

However, today, I did absolutely nothing. I watched basketball with my guy friends, cooked dinner and that's about it. I didn't even work out. But, you know what? In doing nothing, I did something for myself. I recovered. In a sense, by not doing anything, the time usually spent relaxing will be dedicated to being more productive tomorrow because I have to make up for it.

Today, by sitting on the couch and just talking, I cleared my mind and I recovered. You have to rest yourself if you expect to progress.

This is the parable of the two men in the forest. Both were hired to cut down giant trees for a company, and whoever did it first got paid more. One worker cut all through the night and wore him, and his saw, completely down, while the other stopped every so often to rest and sharpen his saw. In doing so, he completed the task more effectively and was rewarded handsomely.

This works on a macro and micro scale. Suppose you're running and you just completed one mile. You may feel like you can't go on any longer. So, you stop running and you leave the gym. But you're not really done.

Get back on the track, walk a lap and then run. You'll find that you had some more left inside of you. There's still energy stored inside of you and you can do better. This is the general principle of interval training. Stop and go.

Even after this, your legs may be tired, but the rest of your body may have some energy stored up. Lift some. Don't settle for what you're comfortable with. Try something new and vary your lifestyle.

But I digress. Having done nothing today has allowed me to sharpen my own personal saw and schedule what I'm going to do tomorrow and for the next week.

You owe it to yourself to have a day where you do absolutely nothing, as long as you use that nothingness as motivation to do more later. I don't recommend doing this often, perhaps once every three weeks will suffice, but the body needs a total break.

Even as you're sitting on the couch, catching up on your shows or watching a poisonous amount of Netflix, you can do some of the little things you normally think to do until it's too late. Text old friends and let them know you still care they're alive. Cut your nails. Stretch. 

For now, I will head to bed with a clear mind and a relaxed body.

Who am I kidding; I'll probably stretch and do some push ups, but you get the point!

 If you're going to relax today, be ready to push yourself tomorrow.

Album Review: The Millionaires "Tonight"

"Tonight" is the first album released by scene queens The Millionaires. These gals are no strangers to the music scene, seeing as they have been around since 2007. However, this is their first official release and, I believe, they waited just long enough. I wouldn't say that their has "matured," but it has been structured. The Millionaires have created an image and that picture shines through wonderfully with their rookie album.

Pros:
When you first turn on the record, you initially see what these girls are all about. They're shallow, outrageous, covered in glitter and ready to party. Honestly, that's not an insult. This album had me closing my eyes and reliving some of my favorite memories at house parties and had me planning for crazy nights to come. The melodies are so catchy and their voices are like cotton candy to the ears (meaning it's probably bad for you, but damn it's so fantastic).

The Millionaires are equal parts Cascada, Ke$ha and Katy Perry. They have Cascada's melodic chorus, Ke$ha's raunchiness and Katy Perry's lyrical content and feel-good attitude. The chorus of "Get Away" demonstrates this and will be reigning in my head all day tomorrow. "One in a Million" is rather cliche, but still fantastic, especially with the use of their band name in the name. This song screamed "summer" to me. It just felt so wonderful. "I remember the day you left me..." sounds like it was said in a sincere fashion.

My favorite song out of them all is, without a doubt, "Kitty Go Hello." With it's beautifully catchy hook, subtle hints, innuendos and provocative cuteness, I cannot turn it off. I want to hear this in a club full of college kids just having a great time. When I first heard it, I just wanted to jump around smile. The verses are sort of rapped, but done in a way that is still melodic. This song is lusty and Loveable. A hit for sure.



Lines I Liked:
"I'm kinda sweet and fake, like Splenda ... Raw, raw, raw, like sushi." -Boss Bitch
"What we got is raw. Babe, you know I like it rare." -Kitty Go Hello
"Give me that Andrea. 4 Loko everyday. Give me that UV. Cheap alcohol, please. Straight A student, honor roll. Sneaking vodka in detention." -Drinks On Me
"I see you have the same friends. Same job where you just blend in." -One In A Million
"You're meant for me, we belong together. Just wait and see, it's you and me forever." -Jack



Cons:
If the Millionaires want to rap, they should do it on mixtapes, not their actual albums. I get a wanna-be-white-Nicki-Minaj feel when they start rhyming. The delivery is too spoken and not done with enough flow. They sound a bit too cocky for my taste. They rapped too much about money. They sound wonderful when singing...why challenge that?

I would have also liked to see at least one more theme on the album. I dig that they're about partying, but that's all there really was. One more breakup song would have been fun. Possibly one about getting revenge by torching an ex's house. Something the girls can get behind and blast when they're pissed. I also found that, while it was one of my favorite songs on the album, "K Thx Bye" sounded just like "Endless Summer" by Cascada. Doesn't mean it was bad, which it wasn't, but it seemed very similar.

My least favorite song had to be "Boss Bitch." It was a bit too trashy and the hook was too repetitive. I don't like white girls saying "yo" for some reason. It just seems unauthentic. This song was superficial in a bad way. However, I will say their one liners were rather clever, but not even this or the backup vocals on the hook could redeem it. I'm sorry girls, but you could have done better with this one!


Lines I Hated:
"We counted these stacks like 1,2,3. My paper be overflowing." -Drinks On Me
"So I realized I need it super-sized. Honey, you have a small dick, FYI." -K Thx Bye
"If he got a table, every girl knows what that means. Booze, money, drugs and of course he got that big D." -Put It In the Air
 "Hey dirty boy, you're looking hot, hot, hot. Show me your money." "Fuck Me" Eyes

Production: 
Khris Lorenz deserves a medal. The effects and 404s made me feel like I was raving. The bass wasn't too obnoxious, but it got the feet moving. The sound was so full and the girls' voices were so clear. It's like they were talking right in your ear, and as a heterosexual male, that made my knees go weak just a bit.

The production on "21" was exceptional. They took a song that could have been rather basic, cut it up, added to it and made it a "forever young" anthem. The mix was phenomenal. My only harsh critique is that I would have liked to see more real instruments thrown in. "Jack" was the only song I noticed that had a prominent guitar part. However, the "fake" sound matches the girls' style, and if that's what the producers were going for, they did a damn good job.


The Future:
These girls are truly the horrible role models girl need nowadays. This is a weekend album, meaning you won't listen to this expecting to have an existential revelation. You turn it on to have a good time! Because of this, I feel it will succeed. I hope to hear these songs on the mainstream radio. It has the mainstream sound, but the Millionaires have a "bad girl" aesthetic. They're carefree, happy and drunk. They're that girl getting down on the floor at the party; she's not gonna talk your ear off, but she'll give you something else to remember. If they stick to pop music, they will own the music scene. If they choose the path, the outcome may not be so wonderful. However, their hooks and club beats give them a great chance to make it big this time around.


On a scale of 1-10, 1 being don't listen, 5 being just YouTube it and 10 being buy this right now, I would give this album an 8.8.

The Insecurity Blanket

It's 2 a.m. and your heartbeat begins to accelerate. The world seems like it is pushing down on your shoulders. Your eyes are bloodshot and you're ready to scream.

You're nervous. You're insecure. You're scared.

Indifference about the future exists.

What am I doing with my life? Who am I supposed to marry? Is my significant other cheating on me? Will I ever have enough money to be comfortable?

These questions plague us. They rest in the back of our minds and ream their heads at times in which we can't do anything about them. However, we panic and let them ruin our night and, temporarily, our lives.

Don't let insecurity consume you. Don't let thoughts, ideas and uncertainty get the best of you.

Instead, exhibit patience and wait until you can actually do something about the issues at hand. Sleep on it. Pray. Do whatever it is that you do to get you out of your mind temporarily until you can actually fix the problems.

The main cure to insecurity I have seen is communication.

Personally, I'm quite insecure, regardless of my confidence in social situations and my ever-so-alluring swag. I let my thoughts get the best of me, but I've learned that when I discuss my issues, they are resolved or I create a plan of attack to fix them.

Grade paranoia is one of my biggest downfalls. I let my grades control me and ruin my days.

I'm so stupid. I'll never be remembered. I'll never make anything of myself. I'll be poor forever.

I've learned to converse with professors and let them know that I am a serious student. This generally buys me a grade up in the class. I've done this since my senior year in high school and it has yet to fail me.

Another issue that resides internally is the insecurity of faithfulness: is my significant other cheating on me? Such a ridiculous thought, especially if you are giving the relationship your best shot and you both are very happy with each other. However, circumstances and instances in my past freak me out and I have quite the time trusting.

I lay in my bed and play out horrific scenarios in my head that make my blood pressure rise. I begin to plot out revenge for something that hasn't even happened. I start to shake because I fear I'll be left alone.

Yep, the kid who sometimes walks around with vampire fangs, 
teased hair, snake bites, studded belts and eyeliner gets a little
nervous about what people think of him and his future.

,

I'm pathetic. There's someone out there that can make her feel more comfortable and wanted than I.

In this case, security is also achieved through communication. I talk to my girlfriend and let her know my feelings. She reassures me and, even though I'm not 100 percent comfortable at the time, I can rest a little better at night.

There's no point in worrying about things you cannot control at the moment. Freaking out about the future in the middle of the night won't resolve anything. Wait until the morning, after you have slept, to create a plan of attack.

You're better than a panic attack. You have so much more to offer the world.

Don't let insecurity weigh you down, because chances are, since you are already aware of what needs to be done, you will get it done! You know what you want to achieve, or what you don't want to become, so you will work toward an optimal future.

Sometimes I wish I could heed my own advice. I get wrapped up in my physical appearance and weight that I shut out everyone, including myself. There's a voice inside of me that hates what I am and yells at the mirror.

Look at how fat you are. No one could ever find you attractive. Workout now or you won't earn the right to eat tonight. 

However,  I know that I can't be completely physically fit in one night and that I have come along way since I started, so I shouldn't worry.

Positively reinforce yourself. If you can't, then let your best friends know your insecurities. Trust me, letting someone in will be scary at first, but when they do their best to understand and they say the right things and the right times, you will be happy you did.

Communication and patience. Those are the keys to a lower stress level. 

It's like the night before the first day of school: restless legs, tossing and turning, thoughts and nervousness about the day to come. Because it's not yet the first day of school, don't worry about it!  Don't stress over something you cannot control.

I'm strong. I can do this. I've always done it. I know who I want to be and I will become that. Just let me get a little sleep first and we'll slay this monster in the morning.

Attack the issue when you can and save yourself from insecurity.

Hold Hands, Not Grudges

If you're mad at someone, just let them know.

The idea of transparency can save time, frustration and even relationships. Why drag on a conflict if it is only waring you down? There's not point in suffering one more moment if a simple discussion can fix the issue.

Courtesy of Tumblr.com/knittingunicorn

Holding grudges is fun. You have control, or at least you think you do. You feel entitled and empowered because someone has wronged you, but feeling in charge will get you no where.

If the world was perfect, as soon as conflict would arise, the two or more parties would fix it immediately and go on living. Both would be wiser from the encounter and would know what actions to avoid for next time. However, we don't live in a perfect world.

We lived in a fundamentally flawed one.

What is the point in keeping silent and allowing anger to rise up inside of you? Does one think that the feeling of empowerment will last forever? Because it won't.

In all my experiences of being upset with someone, if I held on for too long, one of two things would happen: I would forget what I was fighting about and just have a negative feeling toward someone forever or I would realize that what I was angry about for so long was completely useless and I would feel ashamed.

I have felt that shame a lot. When I was younger, I was incredibly dramatic. Still am, but only when it won't really hurt anyone or any friendships. But as I've grown older, the idea of holding a grudge reflects a lack of maturity and appreciation of human kind.

We're all people. We all make mistakes, whether we know it or not. If your problem with someone is situational and not a chronic issue, address it with the person. Perhaps they didn't even know they messed up. They will continue living without a care and you will let the pressure burden you and the empowerment to enslave you.

If you heed my advice and choose to resolve the issue immediately, do so in a rational fashion. No one likes to feel attacked. That empowerment you felt is invisible and won't protect you from losing an argument, looking like a fool, or even worse, getting your jaw busted. Don't go Dr. Phil on someone, but just treat the matter in a way that you would want it to be treated if you were on the receiving end. The Golden Rule.

Keeping grudges will keep you alone in your head. Learn to forgive, not forget and live a stronger life. http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/lauren-xenos.html

If you come up to someone with a chip on your shoulder and an attitude of apologetic entitlement, you're going to look like dolt. Being patient, understanding and empathetic will get you far.

The next time someone angers you, don't go to Twitter. Don't go to other people. Address it calmly and immediately. Fix it and go one with life. Too many people fight for no logical reason.

Remaining hung up on trivial matters makes one look like a simpleton. You're better than that.

Let it go and live.

Outging: Extroversion 2.0

I generally fall under the classification of an extrovert, but today, I've only talked to two people in person and, for some reason, I felt ok with that.

I don't fear being trapped in my mind, it's just that the world is a better place when my ideas are let loose.

Just to be clear, extroversion should be defined as being energized by interacting with people and the feeling of depression or fading energy levels when alone.

Last night, I was under the club lights, my head was buzzing and I was in a giant mob of people. I Loved it, as I usually do, but after a while, I started getting disgruntled and decided to step out.

I found myself across the street, on a second-story balcony. Watching as the drunken college students roamed the streets and stumbled on the sidewalks, the contemplation of me finally maturing and taking a step out of the blacklights crept into my mind.

Am I actually getting too old for this? I'm only 22...

Eventually, I wandered through the crowds and made my way to a group of friends. This notion may be an overarching metaphor of what's going to happen with me in the next year. I'll rage, depression will kick in, cryptic thoughts will enter my mind and I'll then catch my second breath and go back to the party.

I Love the vibes I get from the weekend crowd, but lately the "drama" of it all has been ruining it for me. Drama, in this situation, should be defined as anything related to personal agendas, exes, he-said, she-said nonsense, people who over-analyze social situations (in a negative fashion) and physical confrontation. Honestly, I wouldn't hate the latter of those options because, at least then, the energy would still be there.

Yep. I'm freaking Tigger.

I'm growing tired of having to entertain. If that feeling is going to happen to me, I want it to be when I have a guitar in front of me. There are hidden expectations of a crazy time that are tied to me and I fear that I won't live up to them. Nothing is worse than having a houseful of people making me feel like I'm not doing enough to keep them happy.

I thrive on people. I thrive on energy. I thrive on positivity. Give me those three things and I can be anything anyone wants me to be. The life of the party. Crazy. Outgoing. Risk-taker. I just need positive attitudes!

 Part of me misses the simplicity of the partying lifestyle that came when it first started in my life. There were no expectations and the crazy situations just rolled right in. I wish I could do that again, but at times, I get so wrapped up in trying to make sure everyone else is having a great time that I shut myself off to the spontaneity of the surrounding world. Saying yes to strangers. Drinking just one more. Cutting a girl's hair and putting it in a drawer. These are all things that happened because I wasn't worried.

Sometimes, forgetting to smile and not get worried (insert Jimmy Eat World music video) gets me down. I'm down with that.

From here on out, I'm going back to extroversion-like ways. I'm going to wear my personality on my sleeves and ditch the dramatic kids in the dust when I go out. I'm going to take up any offer that comes my way on the weekends, even if it does present a sort of danger. I'm not ok with not talking to people.

My weekend life is about reaching out to others and going crazy with strangers, not worrying about who is dancing with who or where so-and-so went.

I'll worry about that stuff Sunday morning.

Love Where I Am; Love Where I've Been

I can honestly say that I was blessed to grow up in the generation that I did.

Besides all the wonderful, yet cliche, 90s kid stuff, I grew up with a dream. A dream that was fueled by music and a crowd in front of me. Not only that, but I was able to satisfy that dream, to an extent.

And let me tell you, I may not know the true meaning to life, but I know that feeling has something to do with it.

On nights when most kids were either at basketball practice or studying their time away, I was sitting in my room with my guitar, dreaming, praying to, one day, play my songs (or In Our Suffering's songs) in front of thousands of people.

I desired this not for the material reasons, but because I know that the songs I was writing alone, in my room with my unplugged guitar and a notebook, were coming from my heart and fingertips. These songs may not be Top 40 hits, but they would surely mean a lot to some kid going through the same stuff.

"You will remember this day."

Even now, I find myself fretting and picking with my guitar at my waist as I stand in guitar power stance in my kitchen. Seriously though, the way the kitchen light shines, it makes it look like a stage light and I Love it. I still get the same goosebumps that I did when I was 16, having practice with my brothers. Make fun of me, I don't care. That feeling is phenomenal and I only wish you too could feel it one day.

No feeling will ever compare to that of playing live and seeing people you have never met singing along to a song, not because it is incredibly good, but because they've see you play live so many times that they have started to enjoy your act.

I still have my dream, but it's not the same. I'm older now. Perhaps too old. I had my chance and now it is some other kids' chance to play.

I take issue with the fact that these kids have no one to look up to anymore. They have no more local heroes or venues. The dream is fading fast and that scares me.

We live in a day in age in which kids compete for likes instead of working together to get a local show together. Go ahead and go to your Myspace, log in and listen to some of the bands you were friends with back in the day. Basque in their perfect imperfectness. That's not what you get today.

I urge any kid who has a guitar, drum kit or a mic and a damn dream to band together and make it happen.  It's worth it.

It's worth the hassle of setting up a show. It's worth having a band member not show up to a concert and you having to fill in for drums. It's worth having your band and dream destroyed by an ex-girlfriend.

Honestly, I believe in a sense of karma and emotional equality in every action we do, but my years playing guitar, on stage, left me with a credit of happiness.

Despite it ending and my vision being shot down in flames, I can still close my eyes and see all my memories play out in front of me and get the same butterflies I had that day.

For that very reason, I am the luckiest kid in the world.

I lived out a part of my dream.

Pick Me Up and I'll Never Let You Down

I am the unread book and you're the reader trapped in the library.

Who am I to you? Am I a stranger or am I close friend? Have I ever done anything to change your life for the better or for the worst? If not, then let me.

There are so many individuals out there with distinct, unique stories. I want to tell mine to someone new; someone who may understand what I have been through and why I strive to be who I will be one day.

I'm nostalgic. I'm progressive. I learn from past failures. Even though I long for what I have, I know that I can never get comfortable anywhere because the idea of settling down for good scares me to pieces.

My life is an open book and I'm ready for any person to pick it up.

Tell me about yourself. That's all I want. I want to hear your story.

I've never been much of a reader, but I've always been a listener.

You know when you're reading your textbooks and you realize that you went through an entire paragraph and didn't retain one word? Now picture you telling the story of your life and someone picks up their phone and starts texting, or interjects without any empathy to you. This is how the book feels. Worthless. Like your story isn't worth this person's time.

"I should go to bed, but I'll stay up until whenever 
if you want to talk."

Trust me, if you talk to me, I will never let you collect dust. I'll never let your pages fade or weather.

There's something magical about having someone pay attention to your every word. Not just your words, but the inflections in your voice when you are really adamant about a topic; the change in tone that only the greatest authors can portray in writing.

If you're out there reading this and you have never gotten to know me, put a bookmark in this page and let me read into you a bit more.

I'm sure there's a masterpiece within you.